Cookies - Day 21

I am a people pleaser. I want people around me to be happy and to get along with each other. I hate conflict, I hate tension, I hate raised voices, and I hate irritated silences.

I like keeping the peace.

Today my mom and sister and I baked Christmas cookies. It's just one of those things that never goes off quite as magically as it does in Mom's Hallmark movies. My family does a lot of things well, but for some reason the mixture of my need for control, my sister's excessively apologetic nature, Mom's holiday stress, and our small kitchen just really does not create a fun baking atmosphere. We gave it our best shot, we really did. At any one time, two out of the three of us were trying really hard to have a great attitude and have fun, but inevitably something would go wrong - too many nuts in the wedding cookies, a piece of advice not well received, or making way too much icing - and tension would ensue.

I hit my breaking point at about 6:30. It felt like I'd been trying to hold it together all day, and then realized I'd made a mistake and it all fell apart. I stood there trying not to cry while I attempted to force terrible icing into a piping bag. I explained to Mom that I felt like I'd been trying to make everyone happy all day and I was failing miserably. She was of course wonderful, and thanked me for  all the helpful things I had done, but I didn't really feel better. Even now, I have a headache from holding the tears back for so long.

But not until I stopped to write this did I realize, I really can't keep the peace at all.

My small human efforts will fall short. As much as I want everyone to be happy and for everyone to get along beautifully, it is not in my control. I will put too many nuts in the cookies. Bit will apologize one too many times and I will snap at her (even though I have the exact same tendency). I will try and try and try to have it all together, and it will still fall apart.

Because it really isn't up to me. It's in his control.

God has a plan for the great days and the terrible ones, and the ones like today too. He is working our world toward a greater peace. One that doesn't rely on me making everyone happy or remembering not to make more icing.

Thank God for that.


25 Days for Peace is a cooperative blogging experiment between myself and five other artists, designed to explore the facets of peace, particularly centered around this season intended to experience the peace of Christ. Visit this page to see the other contributions to this journey, and like it to join with us in exploring what peace means.