I've spent more than one post elaborating on the helpful wisdom of my mom - tonight I want to tell you a little story about me and my dad, and I hope it shows you how simple it can be to spread peace.
The last few days have been the weirdest. I won't go into all the reasons why - not because they aren't entertaining, but because they do very little to talk about peace - but suffice to say I woke up this morning tense and off-balance. I had already half decided I wasn't going to church. I felt guilty about that. Overwhelmingly guilty. I hate not going to church, but with the state I was in, it felt unbearable.
Instead, Dad surprised me with breakfast.
Dad dropped my sister off at church with my mom and took me to this little diner sort of place we used to go to as a family when my brother and I were small. We ordered bad coffee (my favorite) and talked about so much. We relived my childhood. I thanked him for making his and Mom's relationship the priority in our family, instead of putting us kids first. We talked about my friends. He expressed a normal amount of worry about me moving out, finding an apartment, starting grad school, and finding a job. We talked about school. He made me take a toy from the treasure chest at the counter like I did when I was 6. We discussed the new Star Wars movie.
No one will ever convince me that mornings like this with my dad are not a good reason not to be at a Sunday morning gathering. This isn't the first time we've done this - I remember a particularly special morning when I was about six, my dad took us on a nature walk in the early Wisconsin winter to look at the frost instead of to church. We walked quietly through the woods admiring the patterns the frost made on leaves and late berries. He took turns carrying my brother and I on his shoulders to see into the trees. We went back to the house and listened to a tape of worship music while he read out of Genesis.
I started my morning on the verge of tears. I left for HU at peace. I spent the hour car ride praying, reflecting on how thankful I am for my dad and how important it is to not just be the church in your community as a vague term, but to be the church with your family, whatever shape that takes.
Friends, what I hope you to hear is this: after all our talk about big picture issues, peace really can be as simple as a cup of diner coffee. You don't know how much peace and assurance you can bring by loving your family. Families are our starting point, our foundation, and even if yours is broken (which most of ours are in one way or another), you can make a difference. Sometimes our families are the hardest people to live at peace with. They know us too well sometimes. Parents and siblings saw all the hard parts of your growing up, all the angst of adolescence and the confusion of solidifying your identity. You saw the ends of bad days, when everything was annoying and the whole house was tense, and your parents didn't really feel like being parents but they had to be. Sometimes, these are the people it is hardest to love, but who need us to love them the most.
Peace can be hard. But it can also be easy as diner coffee. Break the routine of grumpiness, whether in yourself (if you're like me) or in someone else. Be the church for your parent, your sibling, or your child by loving them exactly where they are. Thank them for all the good in them, and just let them be them. Reach out. Listen.
One last thing: Thank you Dad, for showing me how to be the church when we aren't in church.
25 Days for Peace is a cooperative blogging experiment between myself and five other artists, designed to explore the facets of peace, particularly centered around this season intended to experience the peace of Christ. Visit this page to see the other contributions to this journey, and like it to join with us in exploring what peace means.
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