move

move.
Simple enough right? Just a verb. A preschool word even. But to me, it's about the most life-changing concept in the world.

The idea of move came to me when I started highschool, at a summer camp by the same name. (Of course most if not all of you who read this know about move, if you haven't been there yourself) At camp we talked about letting God move in our lives. Not because the Almighty needs our permission to do anything, but because he lets us have free will, we have to choose to work with him. Honestly, that first summer, move was just camp. It was just a shared experience. One that changed my life, but because of people, not because of God that summer. When I came back the next year, I saw how God had moved. I had been living in fear, sadness, and pain all of my freshman year, and when I opened my eyes and saw what God had been trying to teach me, it was... Beyond words. I gave up all the petty issues that were holding me down and said "Ok God. Move."

And he did. In bigger ways than I could understand at the time and even bigger than I can grasp now.

As I grew up a little bit, I learned more about move. Move is the way God speaks to me. Not that I hear him audibly very often, but it's those little moments when I'm struggling with a decision and I feel that little nudge in the right direction. Move.

It grew beyond just a week every summer. It is my life. Letting God move means that I live dangerously. It's awful and wonderful. Move is taking the risk and speaking my mind. Contrary to popular belief, I am not a people person. I'm afraid of people, afraid of getting hurt. I hate confrontation and arguments. I hate taking charge. I'm horribly uncomfortable when it comes to making choices. And God, being the all-knowing perfect Father that he is, has put me in a position where not only do I have opportunities to take a chance in these areas, but I am forced to. I've somehow become a "leader" in my youth group. Which means we as a leadership team are supposed to make newcomers feel welcome. I'd like to say that I'm getting better at it, and that people now find me warm and welcoming instead of awkward and abrupt. No. Two months ago I welcomed a girl to our youth group by saying "Hi, I heard you're a junior? Me too. Want a cheeseball?"

Not my proudest moment. Thankfully, the new girl stuck around to learn we aren't all socially awkward freaks at our church. It's just me.

Move has become the theme of my life, strangely enough. I hear the word all the time. On TV, in chapel, in class, in my friends' conversations, even this morning when my youth pastor told the church he would be leaving at the end of the month. And every time I do it's like God is whispering in my ear.

"Move. Move. Move."

I'm going back to move camp next week, and I think it may be my last summer there. Maybe not, but it looks that way at the moment. I can't express how much that simple statement that the people at CIY ministries decided to use has changed my life, the way I look at the world, the way I relate to people, the way I hear God. Move is my life. And I hope that doesn't change as my life moves forward.

Grace and peace, thanks for listening.