It's been a week on this journey and I still don't know what it means. I sit down to write and my mind goes to grace, love, hope, joy. Those are the themes of my life and my education and my experiences. I don't know how to talk about peace. Still.
Is that it? Still... Stillness. I'm pretty horrid at stillness. I'm realizing recently how grossly addicted I am to this little computer in my pocket. I can't even watch tv without also surfing Facebook or Twitter or Instagram. I scroll humor sites at night until literally my eyes won't stay open. I would sit in my cubicle working diligently, and the first moment I looked away from my work I'd pick up my phone. When my phone was out of commission for a few days it was some of the most exhausting but peaceful time I'd had in recent memory.
Maybe what I'm finding is that my phone is causing more unrest that peace. Perhaps that's obvious, but it's occurring to me now. I'm struggling so much with this concept. It's occurred to me that perhaps why is that I'm so busy in this season. Finishing my internship, finishing my semester, writing grad school application essays, traveling, and all the things that come with Christmas, I'm booked! I had thought about cutting something out, but what to cut out? Perhaps this is my answer, friends. Put the phone away.
I guess all I can do is try. Today I'm at HU with friends, tomorrow is plasma donation and lunch with a friend, then I'll be secluding myself in coffee shops to crank out papers for the rest of the week. Here's the goal: leave my phone in my bag. Take a book to plasma donation. Don't put the thing on the table during meals. Leave it in my room while I watch TV with my family.
Here it goes. Wish me luck.
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