Love...

Love is when they spit on you, turn you away, laugh in your face, ignore you, insult you, and you still look at them and say "You still mean the world to me."

I wondered once at an unfortunate conversation with a friend from school. She was going through an incredibly tough thing, one of those things that forever affects your life and the way you look at the world. I remember spouting a few cliche comments about things getting better, God has control, His plan is the best one, and all of that, but at least in my mind it all sounded hollow. I really felt no sympathy for her or her situation. I desperately wanted to! I wanted to feel for her, but all I felt was guilty as I walked away from her. Upon reflection, I recalled how another friend came to me with a problem. That time, however, it was a boy from church instead of a girl from school. His problem was difficult, but not so much as my girl friend. He I cried for, spent hours talking to and praying for. I still ache inside thinking about the pain and frustration in his voice when he spilled his heart out to me..

Why?

Why did I feel for him and not for her? I talked through the confusion with my mother, and she just said:

"Because you love him."

No, not romantically, not in the slightest. But yes, I realized, it was because I love him. He's my brother, we have a strong bond in shared experience in Christ. Not to say that my girl friend and I don't share the bond of Christ, because we do, but up to this point it's all just knowledge on that front. Figuratively speaking, there's no blood bonding us yet. But this friend, this brother, even when he makes a bad decision, or does something stupid, or blows me off, he's my brother and I love him. And that's why when my girl friend came to me I didn't have anything to offer, there was nothing invested there. Because as much as I wanted to care about her hurt, those feelings don't come naturally like they do when one of my brothers comes to me.

Because as much as I CARE, I did not LOVE.

*And here's the disclaimer. This point has nothing to do with the way people should treat each other. I know that the love I feel for my close brothers and sisters should not outweigh the love I should feel for everyone God has created. This is just something I'm working through, and I thought I would share it, on the off chance that someone else might learn from me and my mistakes*

Far Too Fleeting

It's been too long my blog friends... Too long. I had a few rather unpleasant experiences that made me not want to blog anymore, that also made me not want to do a lot of things, but what would life be if I gave up on fun learning experiences just because I got vaguely annoyed? Dumb! That's what it would be! And here is the actual post:

With the school year ending, summer beginning, and so many dear friends graduating and leaving for college, it seems natural that I've been reflecting on how fleeting high school really is. Maybe it's just because I'm in high school, but it seems as though so many movies, songs, magazines, and books are focused on these four years. I know I spent a large part of late elementary and junior high just waiting to be in high school. Then as soon as I got here, it's like it went by in a second. I clearly remember jumping into my best friend's pool with my best friends yelling "High school here we come!" (which we stole from a movie, yes. We were 14, what do you expect?) the summer before freshman year. I'm about to be a senior. How did this happen?

 I had a very clear picture then, of how highschool would be for me. I planned on, and was excited to be, a geeky theater kid with dorky friends. I was going to be invisible. I wasn't going to date. I'd have a few friends, but not many. Shockingly enough, that's not the case. Things changed. I changed. God changed me. I'm thankful for it. I have tons of friends, from different backgrounds, schools, belief systems, and ages. I have a boyfriend. I'd rather go to a concert with a mob of friends than have a slumber party and watch musicals (which was what I expected I'd be doing.) How crazy is it that God can so drastically change my life and my personality from what I thought I would be to what I am now.

Which brought me to thinking about how much different will things be in another three years. When I'm a sophomore in college? Will I be studying music like I plan on doing? Will I still like bad scifi movies and techno music? Will my brother and I still be the best of friends? Who will my friends be? What's going to happen to all these relationships I've spent years building when I go off to college? I have one summer, one school year left. How will I spend it?

And here's my point. What will I do with this? My last summer, my senior year. What's it going to be worth, in the end? I could spend it partying with friends, having the time of my life. I could blow off my last year and skate through all my classes. I could. But when I look back on it, this last leg of childhood (because that's what it is, really), what do I want to see? A year of parties that I'll barely remember? Or a year of ministry? There's a lot I could do in a summer. In a year. People I can influence, people who can influence me, lessons to learn, lessons to teach, friends and family to love with all my heart.

So I guess the question is... What are you going to do with high school? What's the time worth to you?

LOVE WAR REBELLION

I'm sick of the teenage Christian mold. Who decided that because I'm under twenty and live in the Bible belt that I'm deluded and brainwashed? I'm ready for my generation of Christian people who aren't going to sit around and let the world run us over! We are not just spineless children who have been force fed a weak outdated faith. We are warriors! We are men and women of a Holy God! We will NOT be quiet, we will NOT sit down, we will NOT be pushed around, we will NOT be swayed, we will NOT let the world change us, because we are going to change the world!!! We are an army, and one to be reckoned with! We are trained, we are fighters, we are fired up and ready for war, ready to win! I'm sick of this weak Christianity that says you can believe whatever you want, just fill the pew and you'll be fine. No more!

The world had better be ready for my generation. Because if we stand up and stop taking crap from the world, they aren't gonna know what hit them.

LOVE for the King

WAR against the Evil One

REBELLION against the ways of the world

Ultimate BFF

Best friends.

In highschool, it's a big deal. Who your best friend defines you in some way, small or significant. In the last few years, I've had several "best friends". Most of the friendships faded out, for some reason on my part, boredom or annoyance.
Now I'm "bff-less" and it's been on my mind. I've got plenty of friends don't get me wrong. But what makes someone my 'best friend'? The person I'm most comfortable with? John. The person who knows me best? Carter. The person who's known me the longest? LeClaire. The person who always gets what I'm saying? Erika. The person who always makes me laugh? Liz. The person who makes me smile when I'm ticked off at the world? Cameron.

Doesn't a best friend need to be all these things? I puzzled over the thought for awhile, listing off names and qualities in my mind until it occured to me that none of them, as much as I love them each dearly, fufills all my requirements. Who does? No one on Earth.

But my heavenly Father does. He makes me feel safe when the world is falling apart in front of my eyes. He knows every little thing there is to know about me. He knew me before I existed. He understands my quirks and mistakes. He brightens my worst days. He shows me the light at the end of a horrific day.

He's the perfect best friend.

Eggs

I've put off writing a new post until I had time to sit down and think about it, but I'm feeling spontaneous.
In youth group last weekend we talked about the vine and the branches, how without Christ we are dead and can do no real good works. We are fodder for the fire, kindling for the flame of the world. But with Christ we are fruit bearing trees, bringing glory and honor to His name. My youth pastor used an illustration of an Easter egg inside an Easter egg inside an Easter egg ( yes, you counted right. Three eggs ). We are to be in Christ and Christ is to be in us so that we are not even seen through the glory that is our God. I'd seen similar illustrations before, but then my leader wrapped his hands around the egg, twining his fingers together.
"Not only are to to be in Christ and filled with Him," he said, "but you are to be surrounded by fellow believers and live together with them."
How true is that? We become so concerned with filling ourselves with Christ (or at least looking that way) that we forget a crucial thing. Christians - people in general - were not made to struggle alone. Our hurt, our pain, our joy, our ecstasy, our sorrow, were meant to shared with our brothers and sisters, embraced by them.
But this community cannot happen apart from Christ. That is easy to forget. When we stray from the Father, we begin to doubt.

Is this real?
Do these people really care?
Do I trust them?
Will they reject me?

It's easy to fall from the path, to think we can have community without God at the center. But then the community is hollow, it has no purpose, no meaning, no LIFE. And without community, we struggle to remain with God, we fall apart from Him.

It is difficult to be with God without community. It is IMPOSSIBLE to have community without God.



Grace and peace, thanks for listening

A Short Post

Forgive me those-of-you-who-actually-read-this-dumb-thing, for not posting anything new in many weeks. Usually I would say I was just lacking inspiration, but actually the opposite is true. I've been overflowing with ideas about things I would like to share with you all. The validity of healing and prophesying in the church today, election and predestination, Biblical standards of beauty (if they exist ;)), and discussion and worship in the Acts church. (Most of which were also topics of discussion in my highschool Theology class, by the by) But alas, I just haven't had the time! So if you keep looking, I should have a legitimate new post soon, if life doesn't eat of all of my time. (Because really, living life is more fun than blogging about it.)
(I'm sorry Blogspot.)
Grace and peace to you
M

Church Needs Rebellion

Rebellion.

The word has a bad connotation, am I right? Rebellion is for teenagers who are spoiled and have an overinflated sense of entitlement. Rebellious kids are a problem, one that parents so desprately want to fix. And so many times, the 'fix', is church. But you see there's a problem with that.

Because the church is a rebellious movement.

The church as it was designed is a planet-wide spiritual rebellion against the world. We are meant to stand apart from this crowded world of consumer culture, blatant sin, and self indulging attitudes. We are meant to stand out for the cause of Christ, for the salvation of souls, for the spread of the news that is beyond all earthly comprehension.

But do we?

Is the church really a rebellion today? It certainly started out as one. In the earliest parts of church history it was a small group (although growing quickly) that was openly opposing the teachings of the Roman world and Jewish culture. They were teaching in the streets at being killed and imprisoned for it. They were the epitome of rebellion! Then when the church grew stagnant, there was another rebellion, the Reformation. Once again, radical rebellious Christians were prosecuted for not laying down and letting the wrongs of the world roll over them.

Look at the world today. Look at the church. I think that a few rebellious teenagers may be exactly what we need.